A brief, Winter inspired post!

I currently have no hot water or central heating. And while waiting endlessly for the gasman to turn up and fix it, my mind turned to more interesting things...

Things not to do in your house, in winter, when you don't have central heating...

1- Lick the radiator.

2- Manoeuvre around the house wearing less than 1 pair of trousers, 1 pair of jeans, 3 vests, 4 tshirts, 1 jumper, a hoodie, a coat, 4 pairs of socks, scarf and gloves. And ear muffs.

3- Use your dog as a heated pillow (on the other hand, it would save getting out the electric blanket).

4- Sneeze. If its really cold you'll be sprinkling little specs of ice everywhere!

5- Shower/bathe without previously placing your towel very close too hand. Unless you're happy to become your flatmates latest table decoration/ice sculpture.

And things to do in your house, in winter, when you don't have central heating...

1- Fill the kitchen sink with water, wait for it to freeze and then place a pet hamster on it. Its a well known fact that hamsters love to ice skate.

2- Sprinkle flour and sugar around the house and convince your little brother its been snowing inside.

3- Invite your friends around for a 'gathering'. Then gather them in the living room and soak up all the free body heat.

4- Sit by the window holding a match stick. Anybody who sees you and knows the fairytale will freak out.

5- Steal your flatmates towel when they get in the shower. And if you're feeling brave put it, along with their clothes, on the washing line in your garden.

And if all else fails,

Make the most of Winter's most efficient form of transport...

"Anywhere around here will do fine, cheers drive!"


  1. It is clear, this girl has acquired her humourous, jocular and witty writing style from her Father.

    Excellent piece.


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